


I Can't Stay

by AlAngel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Violence, drunk!Dean, hints and discussion of abusive relationship, please be careful if this is a trigger for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 08:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11100357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlAngel/pseuds/AlAngel
Summary: Request: Hi! If you have time, can you write a Dean x reader where they have an argument and she's about to walk out so that it doesn't escalate? but then Dean grabs her because he doesn't want her to leave him and he accidentally hurts/bruises her and feels really guilty / angry with himself? Thanks :)





	I Can't Stay

Title: I can’t stay  
Pairing: Dean Winchester x female!Reader  
Word Count: ~1.3k  
Warnings: angst, hurt, drunk!Dean, hints and discussion of abusive relationship (please be careful if this is a trigger for you), violence  
Request: Hi! If you have time, can you write a Dean x reader where they have an argument and she's about to walk out so that it doesn't escalate? but then Dean grabs her because he doesn't want her to leave him and he accidentally hurts/bruises her and feels really guilty / angry with himself? Thanks :)  
A/n: Sorry this is pretty dark. I didn’t know if I should have written a forgiving reader, because I actually personally have the rule to walk out on any guy who ever would dare lay hand on me.   
…

“Dean! What the hell!” You shouted at the man.  
“Woa, calm down, (Y/n).” He threw you a smirk, flopping down on your shared bed in the bunker. His jacket was missing, probably dropped on the way to your room. But the missing part of clothing didn’t cover how the rest of him smelled like cheap alcohol and cigarette smoke. “What are you so worked up over anyway?”  
“I was sleeping” You snapped, crossing your arms over your sleeping top. The lack of bra and the sleeping shorts probably didn’t help your already not every intimidating look, but you decided to make up for that lack by staring as hard as you could. Because Dean had just stumbled in obviously a bit more than tipsy and definitely not concerned about your sleeping form on the bed. Of course, your instincts had told you something was wrong so you were up and ready to fight the intruder in a heartbeat. Never would you have guessed it was your drunk boyfriend coming home at 4 am while he was supposed to be on a vamp hunt with his brother.  
“You look pretty awake to me, babe” He grinned even more, outstretching his hand to grab you and pull you on the bed. But you stepped away, not done with this discussion.  
“What is wrong with you?” You kept snapping “You go on a weeklong hunt, but come home drunk after three days. And you smell!”  
“Don’t like my manly smell?” He winked. And that was it, you had enough then. You could live with your boyfriend being a hunter and therefore being away a lot – minus the higher risk job it wasn’t that different from dating a business man who travelled a lot. You could live with waiting and hoping that he would come home in one piece. You could even handle the nightmares and the occasional drunk evening. But you couldn’t handle this combination. Not knowing why he’d come early – did the hunt go well or totally pear-shaped? – And also not knowing why he gotten drunk and with whom. You trusted Dean Winchester with your life, but you didn’t know if you had it in your sleep-deprived self to trust this drunken man on your bed right now.  
“I hate the alcohol smell on you” You said sharply “Hope you had a great night. I’m on the couch if you’re sober enough to talk.”  
“Don’t be like that, babe. The night doesn’t have to be over.”  
“It is.”  
“Baaaabe” Your drunk boyfriend got up from bed again, slightly stumbling. At first he seemed really confused by his two feet actually holding him vertically. To be honest you were a little surprised too. But his unstable state didn’t stop him from making his way over to you.  
“We talk in the morning” You decided “Sleep it off first.” You knew Dean and his many issues and a drunken and probably tired from the hunt version of him was no reasonable person to have any kind of serious discussion with. You weren’t ready to let this go, but you were rational enough to postpone the talking.  
Dean however didn’t seem so reasonable at all. When you turned to leave the room, he grabbed your wrist. His fingers dug painfully in your flesh. “Let go” you hissed pulling your arm away, but it was no use. His grip was hard and almost brutal, his green his sparkled with disproportionate anger and the more you struggled the stronger his hold got on you.  
“I won’t let you walk out on me” Now he was hissing too, low and words filled with anger. He wasn’t the only one angry though. You yanked at his grip one last time, before connecting your flat hand with his face. The surprise let him go enough, so you could finally pull free.  
“I’ll get my things in the morning” You informed a shocked and suddenly sober looking Dean. He was holding his cheek where your hand had left a dark and angry red mark. You wouldn’t apologize. All you did was leave the room, to find some place with a lockable door to get some alone time to think.  
…  
At 11 there was a soft knock on the spare bedroom you had moved into in the early morning. Someone had tried the door knob before, so you heard it coming. With a sight you leaned your head back against the wall. You were sitting on the floor across from the door, staring at it and debating if you were ready for this, ready to talk to Dean again.  
Rationally he probably had sobered up a good bit by now, but the angry man you saw last night still scared you. It was like nothing you had ever seen in Dean before, the anger in his eyes and iron like grip on your wrist.  
Ignoring the door you looked down. There were already bruises forming. Usually you liked green and blue, but on your wrist like that it brought some more tears into your eyes. How could he do this?!  
“(Y/n)” It was definitely Deans voice on the other side of the door. He sounded broken and scared, but you didn’t have it in you to care about his feelings right now. You brought your legs up so you could warp your arms around them. Making yourself small and also hiding the bruises from your own eyes. It was no use though, you still knew they were there because of him.  
“Please” He begged “I’m so so sorry. Please listen to me.” The knocking had stopped, which made his words clearer to understand. His voice sounded so broken and like he was truly sorry. You wanted to be understanding, but you couldn’t. You simply didn’t see any reason, anything that gave him the right to react in the way he had.  
“I beg you, baby. Open the door… Or at least listen. I should have never done that. Never. I know I hurt you. And… god, I hope you’re at least physically fine. I was so out of line, baby. I…”  
Slowly you got up from your position. The motion was almost robotic. You still weren’t sure of your feelings about him or about where to go from here.  
“Dean” Your voice was cracking too and new tears fell from your eyes. It felt so weird to talk to him through a closed door, not being able to see the face of the man you had loved with all your heart.  
“Baby, I’m sorry”  
“I know. But…” You struggled with your words again “you scared me. Really scared me. This is different than a nightmare or an injury after a hunt. This isn’t something I know I can ever forget.”  
“Baby, please.” You could hear him tearing up too “It was an accident. You know I would never hurt you…”  
“I thought I knew that” You whispered “Now I’m not sure. Being an angry drunk is one thing. But this is different. I can’t help from thinking what might happen next time you get mad at me.”  
“This won’t happen ever again. I swear.”  
“Can you?” You replied, your voice barely audible “Can you really swear? Because I’ve sworn to walk out of a relationship the second he laid hands on me. Yet I’m still in the bunker and I don’t even know why anymore.”  
“Don’t go. I beg you. I plead. I do anything. But don’t go.”  
“I can’t stay, Dean. I need to think about this” You sighted, leaning your head against the cold wood of the still locked door “Can you get Sam to collect some of my things. I feel like I should move out for a while.”  
“Please…”  
“I can’t stay” you repeated, finally facing the problem “I can’t trust you right now.”


End file.
